Coping with Health Changes in a Parent

Mother had a stoke 18 months ago, and all of us who love her as well as she herself, have been in an uneasy, sad dance trying to understand what is happening at any moment and what might happen next. Some days she is clear and seems like her old self except that she is unable to walk or move herself very much. She also has use of only one hand, although she sometimes makes reference to her “old” hand trying to help the other one. Other times her reality becomes so mixed that we are left abandoned as we reach out to connect with her. Her reality may be parts of dreams, the past, the present, and even television. This is the part of her condition that is hardest to deal with. She seems to believe in the future and that she will be there in it, as she has always been. She talks about saving things as she might need them later. I suppose this is an ingrained habit that came from growing up in the depression. She talks about her car and where she might need to drive to.
These ramblings and recitations bother my sister more than me, but I find them disturbing also. I would very much like for Mother to be the person she was before the stroke, but I know that is not likely to happen. What bothers me about it most is how can she stand her life? How horrible to be dependent on someone else for everything! She can feed herself but that is about all. I have wondered if these strange experiences she has are a way of escape for her. She frequently “goes” places at night or says she spent the night somewhere else. Perhaps the Lord has made an escape for her from something that is just too hard to bear.
Meanwhile I look on and wonder if the same fate awaits me down the road. Surely one of our best blessings is ignorance about what the future holds. If it is bad, we would worry about it. If it is good, it would ruin the surprise.